We've made it!!!!
Last month the triplets turned one and I have to say the whole year is a complete blur. We've had tears, tantrums and strops and that was just from Triplet Mummy. Our toddler has had his world turned upside down, he’s gone from being the only focus to having to share mummy and daddy’s time which must have been tough on the little dude but he’s been a real trooper and appears to love his brothers and sister as much as we do.
So reaching this milestone was massive, and with that in mind we decided that they deserved a party, hell we all deserved a party!
We banded ideas around for what seemed like an eternity, everything from a get together at home to a week at the playboy mansion - let me tell you, mummy quickly shot that idea down.
You know when something seems like it’ll be really easy and manageable in your head, then in reality it ends up being a shed-load of work and a bit stressful?
Great, I'll continue.
The plan was simple: hire a bouncy castle, hire some soft play equipment, invite friends and knock some sandwiches together. Easy right?
I’ll admit, I totally under-estimated how much work it would be, and I have a new-found respect for people who plan events for a living. It was like trying to solve the worlds hardest maths problem with your eyes shut.
After lots of pointless internet searches we decided to break the planning down into easy to swallow chunks:
2. Hire the castle and soft play
3. Kids to invite
5. Invites/ RSVP’s
Let’s have it in the garden and save a fortune, great idea except, you know if we do it’s going to thunder and hail and rain nuclear ash that day. Hire a hall it is then!
We must have viewed everything from a church hall to a lap dancing club to find the best venue for our angels (when I say best I mean one that was close, didn't cost as much as the third world deficit and was safe enough for sugar fuelled kids).
After lots of fruitless touring of South Wales, we settled on a local community hall.
Bouncy castle and soft play.
This will be easy, search local Facebook listings, we just need a basic castle for the older kids to give themselves whiplash on and some soft blocks for the toddlers to chew/dribble on/ puke on, how hard can it be?
Holy shit, we have to invite HOW MANY kids to this birthday party?! I mean, they’re one how the hell can they have so many friends?!?!?!?.
Apparently there’s this new rule that we have to invite every single kid we know so we won’t hurt any feelings. What?!?!. What ever happened to the whole hierarchy of popularity and not everyone gets invited to everything? I remember when I was a kid in the good ole days and you could be like, “Nahhh, you’re not invited because you smell funny and save your boggies under the table for when you’re hungry.”
Sorry they’re one everyone eats boggies at one.
Let’s have a look at Pinterest and make really cool healthy snacks, that way we’ll look like we’re great parents who have gone to great lengths to make sure our children are healthy.
Hours later we realise all this is far too much effort, screw it we’ll do snack boxes with sandwiches, crisps and chocolate, we’ll fuel them on enough E numbers that they blast off into outer space from sugar overload then we can send them home for their parents to deal with the aftermath of a sugar comedown, job done.
The whole invite/ RSVP thing.
Triplet Mummy seems to think this is a quick win, “I know we’ll create a Facebook group and invite everyone that way, they can also RSVP quickly via that”. Good idea we’ll know numbers in a few hours and we can finalise the plans, or so you’d think.
For the love of God, respond! I know that technically it means s’il vous plait, but it’s not really “if you please.” It means DO IT. I know you’re busy, but do you know what I'm busy doing? Counting the number sandwiches in my head to make sure I'm ordering enough to feed your RUG RAT. So here’s the deal, if you don’t respond and your kid shows up I'm going all bouncer on your ass “not tonight you’re not on the list!”
Are there things I can complain about when it comes to organising the birthday cake? Sure. Am I going to say them? N-O. Birthday cake is like the greatest thing in the whole wide world, and I'm not going to say bad shit about the greatest thing in the world.
The day of the party arrives, this should be easy we've planned this like a military operation, what could possibly go wrong?
Mid-morning the phone rings, it’s the guy who hires bouncy castles and soft play, the conversation goes something like this:
“Hi, you have placed a booking for some soft play equipment and a bouncy castle for 2p.m?”
“Yes that’s correct is there a problem?”
“Um, yes, the soft play was hired out yesterday and some kid was sick all over it so unfortunately it can’t be hired out today.”
“You f**king what?!?!? Your supposed to be delivering it in 2 hours!”
“I'm sorry there is nothing I can do; I will still be dropping the bouncy castle off as planned though.”
“I should bloody think so. See you at 2p.m.”
Panic stations, how are we going to get soft play hired and delivered in 2 hours?
After lots of frantic phone calls and a few expletives we realise this isn't going to happen and we’ll just have to take some of the kids toys and ball pit form home. Not ideal but that was as good as it was going to get at short notice. At least the hire firm are still delivering the castle.
1p.m. the phone rings again –
“Hi, I'm looking for the community hall and my SAT NAV has taken me down a narrow dirt track, is that right?”
“Um no the hall is just off a main road. What address have you got?”
“It’s*****, I got it off the internet”
“That’s wrong, where are you I will come and meet you to take you to the hall, I'm about 15 minutes’ from you?”
“I can’t wait that long I've got to deliver another castle”
I'm now losing patience with the moron on the other end of the phone.
“You’re not due to drop the castle off until 2p.m. as per the booking conformation.”
“Well I can’t wait.”
This then led to me having to drive an hour round trip to pick the castle up off this numpty as it was too short notice to cancel, which was exactly what I would have done under different circumstances.
Castle loaded into my car, food piled high, toddler strapped in, triplets tied to the roof of Triplet Mummy’s soccer mom van because there's no more room and we’re good to go.
Once we'd finally set up, all the stress, panic and worry aside the party went without a hitch, there were no broken necks on the bouncy castle, no one was sick from too much sugar and not one child ended up crying, RESULT!! At least they’re only 1 once, next year we’re going to the zoo it’s far less stressful.
I still can’t quite believe I'm a dad of triplets and a toddler. It’s a cliché but the past year has flown by, but equally, it feels like forever and I can’t really remember what life was like before kids.