Yes, they're triplets!!!
So the time has come to take the little guys out, which would be most people’s idea of complete madness however, we decided we wouldn’t let it beat us and with a little (a lot) of planning we could do this.
We decided we would go to a local shopping centre so we loaded up the triplets and their brother into the car seats and loaded the car up with enough baby paraphernalia to rival our local Toys R Us.
Right we’re off, park up load the babies into the triplet buggy restrain toddler and we’re good to go.
What I didn’t realise at this point was that a triplet buggy was a tractor beam for people who felt the need to ask crazy/ stupid/intrusive/weird (delete as appropriate) questions.
Now the original idea for this instalment was to talk about the challenges of taking the babies out but the comments and questions are so much more fun I thought I’d share them with you all.
“Are they triplets?” – no mummy has managed to bend the time and space continuum and compress 9 months’ pregnancy into a few hours so they are all the same age but concived at different times and I’m Dr. Emmett Brown.
“Do twins run in the family?” – You do realise that there are 3 here and twins means 2?
“Are they identical?” – Um no for a start one is a girl!?!?!?!?
“Are they IVF?” – No, believe it or not we actually had sex.
“how do you breast feed 3?” – Well not only is mum a baby making machine she has 3 nipples; hang on I’ll get her to show you.
"Now, that's my idea of a nightmare." – Well it’s a good job they’re mine and not yours then.
"Should I say congratulations or condolences?" – Really?
"Are they all yours?" – No I decided I would start a crèche and bring all the children for a day out shopping, dumb ass!
"If they're triplets, then why is that one bigger? " – Well there was originally 4 but the bigger one ate the smallest so we are now left with 3, which isn't so bad as it's easier to manage.
"Which one can I have?" – Um let me think, none now go away creepy person
"How'd that happen?" - I take it by the level of stupidity you are displaying you didn’t attend biology class in high school.
"Were you trying for triplets?" – of course we loved the idea of completley changing everything in our life to accommodate these little guys.
"Are all 3 twins?" – now this one was a whole new level of stupid!
"Were they all born at the same time?" – ok this is as stupid
"Did you know you were having triplets?" – with the advances of modern technology there is this great thing called “Ultrasound”, using magic, a little bit of fairy dust and a funny pair of x-ray glasses it allows you to see babies while they are still in mummies belly (the more patronising the voice used the more effective this answer becomes).
"Oh, I feel so sorry for you!" - and I you
"Wow, you have your hands full." – Yes and it’s the best feeling in the world!
No I wouldn't change it for the world!!
My only advice for soon to be parents of multiples is be careful, these people are amongst us and are allowed to walk the streets freely!