Get your hands out of there!!
Up until now the focus of the blog has been the triplets which is understandable, people want to know how you cope, when do you sleep, do they fight, did you have IVF etc. etc.
In a twist to what you have come to expect I have decided this post should be focused on Josh our 3-year-old toddler and to be more exact, his fascination with a very specific part of his anatomy!!
I’m not sure when it happened but recently Josh has discovered his “winky” which according to all the online advice I have read is perfectly natural and he should be encouraged to explore his own body, which I can understand and agree with to some extent.
However, let me set the scene: we’re in the living room, the triplets are in their bouncer chairs just chillin’ while Josh, mummy and daddy are all being tortured by the epileptic fit inducing “entertainment” that is Baby TV, which can only have been written and designed by someone who has a blood stream made up of 80% LSD.
Josh has taken up his normal viewing position, stood in front of the TV so close he must have screen burns on his nose. Why does he do this, surely he can’t see the whole screen from there?!?!?
Then it happens, he shoves his hand down his trousers as if he has just been presented with the most exciting lucky dip known to man, what the hell is he hiding down there? He looks like he’s drawing the 3rd round fixtures for the FA cup!
Mum immediately asks him to take his hand out of his trousers to which the smart ass threenager (I know this isn’t actually a word but hear me out… inexplicable behaviour, Surly for no reason, unpredictable, needy, tantrums, hungry all the time, Solipsistic egotists. Toddlers are just unformed teenagers) responds “but mummy it’s my winky”. Now he’s got a point and there’s a small part of me that is hugely proud of the little dude for being so damn clever. Mummy 0 -1 Joshua.
Now we’re in uncharted territory, do we stop it or is it just “a phase”?
Is he doing it anywhere else apart from at home in front of paw patrol?
I know, we’ll ask playgroup if he does it there. When mummy next takes him in, the uncomfortable subject is broached, does he do it while he’s at nursery? Now the answer took me back a little “yeah they’re all doing it at the moment” wait what? You mean you have a room full of toddlers running around with their hands down their trousers?
So it would transpire that even though you might have bought your toddler some toy cars, the newest Star Wars figure and a stuffed dinosaur, he still seems much happier playing with what's in his pants. Also everything I have read suggests that he’ll just grow out of it, (I can hear all you women shouting “men never grow out of it”, which might have some truth in it).
There you have it, the days of a rummaging toddler might only be short lived but thanks to this blog i'm sure i'll remind him of it on his wedding day!