An apology to my toddler

Since the triplets have been born we've been on a crazy ride, our lives have changed beyond recognition and none more so than that of Joshua our 3-year-old and older brother to the triplets.

As much as we promised ourselves things wouldn't change for him and we’d make time for him, the demands of being parents of triplets have had an almost indescribable effect on our family dynamics.

With this in mind I feel I owe Joshua an apology for all the things that have impacted on his life to date.

Josh, you have been a big brother for thirteen months now and overall you have done a great job, especially since I have changed as a dad to you in so many ways. You have been very understanding despite this. I think it is because you have always been such and intelligent and adaptable child. So here are a few things I am sorry about. Feel free to keep this in draft form and add to it over the years, it may help you and your therapist out someday.

I am sorry that when I get home from work I'm usually too tired to play with your Star Wars figures with you.

I'm sorry I used to take you to football every Saturday morning without fail and now it’s every few weeks.

I'm sorry you can’t play with your toy cars on the floor in your playroom without the babies trying to eat them.

I'm sorry for shouting at you when you've done something wrong when in reality all you want is some attention.

I'm sorry I'm so busy changing nappies and feeding babies that I haven’t had time to show you how to play Disney Infinity, even when you've asked numerous times.

I'm sorry there are times I've fallen asleep when reading you a bedtime story.

I'm sorry for forcing you to grow up, I need to remember you’re 3 and are still trying to find where you fit into this crazy puzzle.

I'm sorry for all the hours you have spent in front of the television or on the iPad because we’re busy sorting the babies.

I'm sorry that now you are three and can do a lot of things by yourself, I expect you to do those things all the time.

I'm sorry that I haven’t taught you to ride the bike you got for Christmas yet.

I'm sorry I have to leave for work before you get up in the morning.

I'm sorry I make mummy take you to bed sometimes even though you’ve asked for me.

I'm sorry the babies gang up on you at every given opportunity.

I'm sorry we don’t spend time doing creative arty things like we used to.

Josh even though you've endured the worst of me you also got a lot of the best of me. There was a time (and will always be that time in my memory) that only belongs to you. It was a time that there only existed the three of us. You taught me about unconditional, all-consuming love. You introduced me to the wonder and magic of a new-born that was my world. You will always be my sweet baby boy.

Love you