Triplet Daddy vs Cat
Firstly, let me set the scene. Yesterday evening about 22:00 I decided I was going to go up to bed, Triplet Mummy decided she was going to finish her glass of wine out in the garden as it was still a warm evening. I did the usual, check on the kids, brush teeth etc. and got into bed. About 30 minutes later Triplet Mummy comes upstairs and tells me she feels really guilty because a little cat had joined her in the garden while she finished her wine and she felt bad shutting him outside when she came in, this kinda strange friendship with the cat did surprise me as neither of us are cat people. Anyway I assured her he would be fine and would probably just go back to his owners. With the guilt of leaving the cat outside now passed Triplet Mummy then joined me in bed and we went off to sleep.
Nice story huh!
Well this is where sh*t gets crazy!! At about 01:30 I’m woken by something landing on my chest with a thump, I immediately shoot out of bed half naked looking something like a cross between a scared child and Bruce Lee in full attack mode, WHAT THE F**K WAS THAT!!!!!!!!!!!!! I see a small dark shadow fly across the bedroom and into the en-suite bathroom, I’m in hot pursuit hurdling the bed like I’m Colin Jackson in his younger days.
I get to the bathroom and flick the light on only to see the dark shadow is the bloody cat. How the hell did he get in?!?!?
I reach out to grab him but miss, he’s now escaped back into the bedroom again with me in chase. I switch on the light as Triplet Mummy sits up in total confusion at all the commotion. “It’s ok” I reassure her “I’m chasing the cat”. Now you should see her confused face! The cat now decides to settle next to her on the floor which gives me time to stalk it and pounce, I got him! I’m carry him down stairs in the same way you’d carry a baby with a very stinky nappy all the while the cats trying to remove the flesh from my arms and chest like a deranged Tasmanian Devil in full spin mode.
Finally, I get him out of the door and return to the bedroom only for Triplet Mummy to enquire if he’s OK. If he’s OK! I’ve just had a heart attack, sh*t my shorts, chased a cat around the bedroom and had most of the skin removed from my arms!
Fu*k you cat!!!!!!!